tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5370884568160752646.post6984192602412114034..comments2024-02-23T08:34:49.655-08:00Comments on My Tango Diaries: He's just not that into you.Marihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08960763038363579526noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5370884568160752646.post-91543708332529122132010-01-31T02:31:03.896-08:002010-01-31T02:31:03.896-08:00Good post Mari. Its highlighted something thats be...Good post Mari. Its highlighted something thats been playing on my mind for a while (and have now posted about). <br /><br />IMO, don't ask, you probably don't want to know why and probably won't agree. I'm sure I've got quite subjective reasons for not dancing more with certain people - bad but then thats human nature. Acept its not going to happen and move on.Golondrinahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03995557703870997544noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5370884568160752646.post-73099362648772826742010-01-30T23:56:34.114-08:002010-01-30T23:56:34.114-08:00Tangueros (and tangueras) all have friends they da...Tangueros (and tangueras) all have friends they dance with first or even more than one tanda. The night is not long enough. I agree asking "why" is full of problems and maybe hurt. An Internet philosopher once said, "It is none of your business what others think about you!" If a tanguero makes it his business to tell you or you make it your business to find out, then danger follows (for the ego). But the PROCESS of friendship and having a teacher allows us to find out these things. I DID ask a tanguera (via a private Facebook message), and I found out WONDERFUL information, but you'll have to visit my blog in about a week to get that story. :-)Mark Wordhttp://tango-beat.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5370884568160752646.post-80335337340265782412010-01-29T23:32:15.360-08:002010-01-29T23:32:15.360-08:00Hi Mari,
There's something rather empowering ...Hi Mari,<br /><br />There's something rather empowering about your 'smile and move on' philosophy. Thanks for sharing this post - it goes right to the heart of my beginner's anxiety which, as you point out, could come between me and a whole lotta fun if not kept in check.<br /><br />Laelia<br />xLaelianoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5370884568160752646.post-33982888070126198602010-01-29T18:55:11.250-08:002010-01-29T18:55:11.250-08:00I would have to agree with me.
Directly asking &...I would have to agree with me. <br /><br />Directly asking "why don't you ever ask me to dance?" is dealing the death blow. There's something down in the primordial ooze/soup...can't delve into it just now, but it's definitely there for us neanderthals. Perhaps it short circuits the "fight or flight" response somehow. (Grin)<br /><br />My two cents are don't over-think, don't over-analyze, don't take anything personally (read The Four Agreements), and come up and introduce yourself and strike up a conversation. Some of us leaders are shy. Although me's comments do apply somewhat - some conversations (especially at festivals) can seem superficial/staged.<br /><br />Oh, and go ahead and ask. It's extremely rare that I (and I assume most leades) will refuse an invitation from a woman.<br /><br />Also, speaking for myself, some of us (or is it we?) leaders are simply oblivious. I don't dance with way too many followers for no good reason(s). Double negative intended. I'll be driving home after a milonga and think, "Damn! I forgot to dance with Jane, and Tammy, and Sue, and..."<br /><br />And lastly, the wingman (wingwoman) technique works too - either a direct introduction, or an indirect inference/comment - "my friend so-and-so hasn't been getting many dances, I'm sure she'd love it if you asked her..."<br /><br />Ya'll get my drift...I suppose more than two cents...more like fifteen...three round nickels...<br /><br />Parting thought...I'm prone to close embrace...so if I never see a woman dancing close embrace with any other leaders...?AlexTangoFuegohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13021896615610939454noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5370884568160752646.post-82989900451558462162010-01-29T10:44:58.883-08:002010-01-29T10:44:58.883-08:00Mari,
There are times when a follower starts a co...Mari,<br /><br />There are times when a follower starts a conversation with me, and I just know she is talking to me only because she is interested in dancing. I don't know why, but that's a real turn-off. On the other hand, when a follower talks to me because she feels social, and wants to have a conversation with me, without agenda, I will remember that, and her too.<br /><br />There were a few times when a follower actually asked that question, to me. Very awkward. Also, unlikely that this person will be on my active list in the future...mehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13455524149476866479noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5370884568160752646.post-87559281492588319212010-01-29T02:10:29.797-08:002010-01-29T02:10:29.797-08:00Look at it like this. One day you are going to be...Look at it like this. One day you are going to be better than them. By the time you realise this, you won't have time to wonder if they want to dance with you or not because the question you will be asking yourself is who YOU want to be dancing with and you will find that there won't be that many.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5370884568160752646.post-83723685151034489452010-01-28T20:52:12.144-08:002010-01-28T20:52:12.144-08:00Well Miss Tango-Addy, I always love the way you pu...Well Miss Tango-Addy, I always love the way you put things. So elegant, so sweet, and so simple. I thought I would put my view in from my point of view from the lead. I was guilty of dancing with one follow and then not dancing again with her for about 3 months. One day I did receive her cabeceo and I got up and danced with her. What a great surprise I had. I realized that I had missed a wonderful person to dance with by not seeing how wonderful she really was to dance with. So now I really try to find the best in all the people I dance with. <br /><br />Sometimes I see follows just sitting there with the deer in the headlights looks of dance with me please, but not really looking at you. If you really look you will see men with the same look. Then you have the people who never use a cabeceo or if they do only have the cabeceo last for a mere 1.2 nano sec and believe that is it. Sometime guys need a little longer or a hit on the head to dance with you. Ask at a practica or a class and then see where it goes from there. Now I try to really see who I dance with before and during. <br />Best of Luck KenoKenohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14785734894231031967noreply@blogger.com