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Molinete/grapevine help?

This may not be something that can be addressed in words, honestly. I'm planning to take a private soon, and will certainly address it there. But as I've found that many followers in my classes have been corrected on this also, I thought I'd ask for any advice. I am weak on my molinete/grapevines, not because I can't do them, but because I often get ahead of my leader. When I wait for the explicit lead, leaders have gotten impatient because I "missed" their lead. If I'm unsure that it was led (in other words, I'm guessing) - then I of course get ahead. When I am told to express my steps to the music, then I sometimes end up ahead of my leader again. Conversely, when I slow down and wait again for the explicit lead, I end up behind the music. Any advice out there for a confused newbie tanguera?