My Tango Diaries

From a previous post's comments (thank you Happyseaurchin for the post topic): "In the post, you mention the distinction between sensual and sexual. I have that distinction too, and I was wondering if you could elaborate on some future post. Many people I speak to don't seem to be aware of this, and I was wondering how that was "wired" into your being...? I presume your partner is not threatened by your tango exploits, precisely because of this distinction? Whether I have been in a relationship or single, the experience of this distinction is ever present. Your observation of your own experience in this matter would be most appreciated." This will be my fourth draft on this topic. It's such a difficult thing to write about and feel like I'm conveying what I mean to convey. I've tried twice before, here and here . And I still don't think I've done the topic justice. I have told people this frequently, but until they experience it for the...

Making the Tango Honeymoon Last - for you, and for other dancers too. Part I: Vignette "At the Crossroads . . ." Maestra: Grande! Grande! (exasperated sigh) You dance too small, too quiet. You hold too much back. Me (looking at my feet and feeling disproportionately defensive by her remark): Well, I get plenty of dances at the milonga. (I admit, not one of my better moments.) Maestra: (sigh) That is because you are simpatico . Despite the sound of it, Maestra was not criticizing me, or giving me a backhanded compliment with that description, however nor was she complimenting me. Her appraisal was almost completely neutral. I thought about that remark for weeks. What did she mean? Was I only getting dances because I was nice? Did she mean my dancing wasn't very good? Was I coasting? Did leaders just feel sort of bad for me and that's why they asked me to dance? Finally I came to a realization about myself and about what tango means to me. If I get danced as much as ...

Picture courtesy of Morguefile There's a debate going on (frequently) over at Dance Forums about what tango bliss/trance is, and how we can create the conditions for it to happen. I think Sharna Fabiano puts it far better than I have (or can): "I felt I was truly in the present moment. We tango dancers strive for this above all else, a zen-like state in which you feel as though the tango is animating your body, that you are effortlessly there with no past and no future. When you are only in the now, you are as purely yourself as you can be." (Thank you Joy-in-Motion for sharing such a wonderful resource!) It doesn't get much better than that. Now how to get there, well... the debate rages on the forum...

Wait... So much of my tango education has revolved around learning to wait. To wait until something is led. To wait for the music. To wait for my partner to open the space before moving into it. In my abrazo apilado class with Daniela Arcuri, she stressed the importance of followers waiting until there is a clear invitation to lean into their partner before doing so. The leader invites the follower to share her weight, often by stepping back slightly. If I lean on my partner without that invitation, I just feel heavy and off-balance to him. During the next practica, I felt for the invitation in the leaders who had taken the class with me. I knew they would be practicing it, so it wasn't a surprise to feel the tiny step back, or the slight dip in their elevation. What did surprise me is when I felt the invitation from another dancer, El León, who had not been in that class. Had he always been inviting me and I just kept closing the distance? I was so surprised, I didn...