My Tango Diaries

So the question remained. If the situation with the previous leader could be turned around so radically - how could I affect change in my dances with other leaders that I had found troubling in one way or another? Would there really be a change? Is it my place to even try? After all, I'm not a teacher - and if I try to take on that role, I become rather a hypocrite. I looked at what had happened previously and decided, as quickly as I could, what I needed to do. (It had to be quick because neither of these leaders used the cabaceo and approached me without much warning.) Mr. Ballroomdancer-armpullerbackwrencher: My last dance with this gentleman left me running for the bus home. Instead of letting him know that his method of leading was, at first uncomfortable, then finally downright painful, I stayed silent. First, because I thought I was just following badly. Second, because I was embarrassed to be in pain. For many, probably most, people that second thing will make no sense. Wh...

Just after I get done telling myself, and my readers, that I'm going to start turning down leaders that make me uncomfortable in some way, I go back on the advice... sort of. Two leaders were at the milonga last night that I had had trouble with the last time I had danced with them (in both cases, the only time I had danced with them.) So when I saw them, I was fully prepared to avoid the cabaceo if possible, to turn them down directly if necessary. And I really would have too, if I hadn't just had this experience. Second chances - Part 1 I wrote about another leader recently who embarrassed me on the milonga floor by instructing in a very obvious manner in front of a table of dancers I knew somewhat well (well enough to care about their opinion) from my community. After trying unsuccessfully to dissuade him from doing this, I finished the tanda in silence. At the next milonga I saw his teacher on the dance floor stop in the line of dance, forcing the rest of the dancers to mov...