My Tango Diaries

Once again I'm inspired inspired by Stephanie over at J'ai mal aux pieds , and her article about The Myth of Women Competition ( http://jaimalauxpieds. blogspot.com/2009/12/myth-of- women-competition-or-my.html ) . I've heard similar rumors from other communities about women competing for dances, for prime tables and seating etc. etc. - an overall atmosphere that women must compete with one another for dances. "Milongas are for dancing, not socializing." "There's never enough men!" "Men always want to dance with... dancers younger than me/older than me/beginners/advanced dancers . . ." I can't tell you how grateful I am to have never encountered this attitude. I've never known so many beautifully talented, brilliant, gorgeous women as I have in tango. Women who have encouraged me to come out when I was feeling to blue, too tired, too sore - whatever. As much as I talk (well, write) about experiences dancing making my milonga - s...

But what if I don't want to be Femme Fatale or a Wallflower? What if I just want to dance? " . . . all women who approach the milonga scene must learn, sooner or later, that every time they enter a milonga, they will do so as a wallflower. A woman's wallflower position will be tested every single night at the milonga, no matter how good a dancer she is. The events of the night, some of which are easier to predict than others, will bring her, more or less successfully, out of this position and closer to its opposite, the one of the dancing femme fatale. Dancing makes the difference. The wallflower becomes the femme fatale by dancing a sufficient quantity and quality of dances. But at the beginning of the night, unless she arrives with her set dancing partner, every woman wallflowers - and to a certain extent, do do men. Nobody enjoys it, and some are better at it than others." "In order to move out of the wallflower positon, you must become an object of desire, m...