For Kenton - A Moment

I have never known so many generous, kind, sensitive and loving men at one time, as I have since I started tango.

One tanguero in particular, one of the first gentlemen to dance with me, always greeted me so warmly at every milonga that I thought we must have known each other in a past life. As I watched him make his way around the room, with his deep voice and bear hugs, bringing a smile to every person he came into contact with. I never saw his kindness, gentleness or patience waver. Not in the three years since I started tango. He didn't need acquaintance in a past life to make someone feel like family, it was just his nature to treat people that way.

The last time I saw him, he was relaxing in the deep, comfy black couch (that once seated in - is remarkably difficult to get out of) at Esquina Tango watching the milonga swirl chaotically in front of him. His eyes focused past the dancers, to everywhere and nowhere in particular. He smiled a soft, somewhat tired smile, patted me on the hand and asked how I was. We chatted for a few moments, about everything and nothing in particular, and then a cabeceo brought me out to the floor. I could still hear his deep, booming voice checking in with everyone who passed by.

Within days of finding out that he was sick - before I could see him again and check in - he was gone. We all thought we had more time.

His deep, laughing voice is still in my ears, but he is now too far away to hold.

“So I learned two things that night, and the next day, from him: the perfection of a moment, and the fleeting nature of it.” ― Margaret George, The Memoirs Of Cleopatra

Comments

Tim Ferriss and the Myth of Tango Mastery

Dear tanguero, I feel I should explain my reaction to your comments about Tim Ferriss. It touched a nerve and I didn't really explain my apparent hostility. It was certainly not meant for you. Several people have brought Tim Ferriss to my attention over this past year. I can usually make it a month before his name pops up again. For readers who are unfamiliar with him, he's the author of "The 4 Hour Work Week". He set a Guinness record for the most consecutive tango turns and has competed with his partner, Alicia Monti, at the Tango World Championship . As a social dancer the idea of a tango competition seems absurd. I don't think I will ever understand how something like tango could be judged - or why anyone would want it to be. But I digress. I think the most crucial detail of Ferriss's history, as I relate it to tango, is his winning Wired magazine's "Greatest Self-Promoter of All Time" . If there is any concept more out of synch with social ...

"Proper" Tango Shoes

Periodically someone, usually a man, will be bring up the topic of "proper tango shoes." If he's referring to the problem (and dangers) of trying to dance in flip-flops, or mules, or platform shoes etc., those are definitely valid, and very helpful points to be made. The likelihood of damaging your feet is very high without the proper support of high quality shoes. My problem comes with the idea that the *only* proper tango shoes have 4" stiletto heels on them and fetish-worthy embellishments. (Okay, I'm pretty keen on the embellishments myself.) "goofy ballroomy shoes are a turnoff... get rid of them..." - Alex Tango Fuego (granted this is from 2007), http://alextangofuego.blogspot.com/2007/10/to-dance-or-not-to-dancebrutally.html And, in the comments on a blog post, Anonymous said... " This is a controversial one. If a follower isn't wearing tango shoes then it's usually a good sign she's not particularly good." From Ms. Hedgeh...

Ganchos . . . again . . .

(Image courtesy of Emilie Boudet: http://www.emilieboudet.com) From the Facebook comments on my "Expressing the music or dancing for tables" post: "But adornments can become problematic when they interfere with something I'm trying to do. (I have enough trouble as it is). Some of these are basically harmless and don't really bother me that much. Like some ladies insist on doing a gancho whenever I lead them to step over my leg. I'm mostly amused by this. Some girls just like their ganchos and will seize any opportunity to do one." Predictably, I have several problems with the above behavior. First of all, they aren't "their ganchos" ! The gancho for the follower is led. It is my (nearly fanatical) opinion that it should never be an adornment or something the follower just decides to do on her own . As someone who is now attempting to learn to lead, the last thing I want to see, or heaven forbid feel, is a stiletto heel near my crotch ....

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