That snarky title is for the benefit an Englishman currently living in New Jersey. At some point he's promised to come visit and learn a bit of tango with me. To get him started, I've pulled together a few of my favorite video resources from YouTube (of course) just for him.
First there are two videos from James and Joanna of JamesandJoanna.com:
The first video, which covers the basic eight, windmill and forward ochos is below. They have a second video that demonstrates the back ochos, basic stops, pushes, sandwiches and a few decorations.
The next set of videos is from Happyseaurchin, who not only gives fantastic advice on tango, he shows a real passion and connection in his views on the subject. The very first video on Posture and Balance helped me so much - and that's just the first one! It only gets better from there. The Tango series is shown below: