My Tango Diaries

For tango and for life: From Brene Brown, on Every Day Courage "the people who matter the most are the ones right in front of us. . . . It means not glancing over someone's shoulder to see if someone more important or interesting has walked in. It means connecting. It means vulnerability and engagement. I'm here and I'm all in. You matter to me. Our connection matters to me. It's why we are here. "

"I know a leader that has been dancing only 10 months. He likes to walk and do close embrace or traspie. But his steps are straight forward without much figures. Many very experienced followers give him compliments for his dancing which is emotionally passionate. They are taken by his emotionality and the confidence of his lead. "Recently, he danced with a female dancer that was a teacher, danced for seven years, had been very close friends with Fabian, Gustavo and Chico, so she had danced many times with the best. Yet she told him that she enjoyed dancing with him because he was so present with her. So, I encourage all you simple, beginner leaders to concentrate on your own emotional attention to the music and the woman you are holding. That will take you farther with your dancer partner than all the complex patterns you could lead."  -- from Naomi Bennett, Tango-L The Bad News: Leaders, this first fact will probably bring you no comfort at all, and for that I

Part I: What Women Don't Want (a rant) Vignette: At Weekly Milonga . . . My partner was wobbly. I struggled to keep my balance, and his, and worked out a sort of equilibrium as long he stuck with walking. My option was to back-lead shamelessly, or give him an early thank you. I chickened out and back-led rather than risk hurting his feelings. (Lesson learned.) Basically, whenever he led something off-axis, I stepped out of it and smiled innocently. When he tried a calecita that was pushing me backwards, I walked a molinete. When he led a gancho that I had no physical way of completing (without twisting my knee painfully), he got an amague. Then he led a soltada (an under-arm turn) by shoving me out, starting the spin and then letting go. I turned back around, faced him and said, "that's really not something I'm good at," and tried to smile sweetly. "No problem," he answered. Oh good, I thought, problem solved. (I've written my

Backstory Two years ago I had a disagreement with a valued tanguera friend about dance partners. A teacher in my city was encouraging promising dancers to form partnerships to practice more and really work on their dancing. I was opposed to the idea because I felt that limiting my dance, even a little, to one partner would hurt my dancing. I was afraid it would make me able to only follow one person well. My fellow tanguera told me that would be true if I only danced with that one person. However, to practice a great deal, take workshops/privates/lessons etc, with a consistent partner, or even a couple of consistent partners (as long as you continue to dance socially with others) can be hugely helpful. It's useful if for no other reason than that you're more willing to make the time to practice. I told her I just didn't see it happening for me. I couldn't imagine wanting to work tha