My Tango Diaries

Images, edited for this post, were obtained from morguefile.com . I received two emails from readers, one leader and one follower, regarding my continued "rabid" support of the "archaic" cabeceo.* (All I wrote in the last post was that a good, clear cabeceo knocks my socks off. I didn't think that sounded rabid .) Normally I simply agree to disagree. You can choose to participate in this custom or not - no one, not even me, is going to force you. This time, however, I couldn't help noting that in previous messages to me, they had both complained about not getting the dances, with the dancers, that they wanted. So I asked if the cabeceo was at least moderately used in their communities. As it turns out, yes - about half or more people use it in these two separate communities. My answer to them? You can't have it both ways. If you choose to ask verbally in a community that uses the cabeceo, or where the dancers you most want to dance with u...

(picture from Morguefile.com . Used with permission.) "Leap and the net will appear." - Zen Saying When he walked in to the milonga, no one I was sitting with knew who he was. I was tired, so sore, and apprehensive. I tell people, and write in this blog, how important it is to give first, trust first . . . to risk first . But not that night. It was probably selfish, and certainly antisocial, but I kept my distance. I didn't introduce myself and welcome this new dancer to our community like I usually try to do. Since so many others were doing so, I let them make the first move. I just waited. I danced with safe friends that I knew would look out for me to try to shake off the bad feelings I had come in with - both physical and mental. Finally, I saw him dance with La Milonguera. She looked radiant and deeply happy in his arms. Dancing with her, he looked like such a calm dancer - the eye of the occasionally whirling storm around him. I coul...

(Tango at a nightclub in Buenos Aires, 1924. Source: www.esnips.com ) A Scenario for Leaders: Your favorite orquestra begins to play and the follower you enjoy most for that music is looking for your cabeceo at just the right moment. You meet at the edge of the dance floor, look for the nod from the leader behind you, and as the first few bars play, you find the most blissful embrace in each other's arms. Just as you take your first step, another leader suddenly enters the line of dance, butt first, backing into your surprised partner. Oblivious to the run in, he takes off down the line of dance. The spell is broken and now you and your partner have to wonder if this tanda is going to be spent in "defensive driving" mode. This scenario, or a similar one, happens at almost every milonga I attend. This is after we had a very well attended workshop discussing, in detail, how to enter the line of dance. I've written about this before, and I've discussed it on forum...

A week of anniversaries. Most importantly, my 14th wedding anniversary is this Wednesday. My husband and I have actually been together about 18 years. Wow . . . Our marriage is old enough to vote. After 14 years, my patient and supportive husband, has found himself married to a rabidly obsessed tanguera. He's coping as well as can be expected. ;) This week is also the anniversary of my first steps in tango. My first class at UT, my first milonga, and my first dance. "Your baby at One Year - Milestones this month (from Parenthood.com)" - Your baby now drinks from a cup without assistance. (well, wine glass anyway) - She can stand alone for several minutes. (but she doesn't like it very much) - Baby walks well (that might be a bit generous.Still working on that whole extending the back leg/walking with intention etc etc) - Baby expresses her wants with gestures and words instead of cries. (gesture, schmesture, she uses the cabeceo ) - She engages in gibberish conv...

"So, pick and choose. Improvise. Hide away. Run after them. Stay still. Move at an astonishing speed. Shut up. Scream a rumor. Turn around. Go back without returning. Upside down. Let your feet do the thinking. Be comfortable in your restlessness. Tango." Tango and the Political Economy of Passion by Marta E. Savigliano Something is up, but I don't know what. I'm restless. I'm writing, but nothing is good enough lately. Nothing comes out the way I want it to. With my friends, I'm either reaching out or pulling away, but never still. I'm dancing more because I'm having such a hard time writing. I want to dance until the buzzing in my head goes quiet. All my thoughts feel like white noise with no content - like the scrolling headlines on the news channels. It's all important, so none of it is. There's just too much. No more excuses . . . At least there's one more tiny victory. I no longer start every tanda with a new leader with t...

(Picture: “The Cabeceo” A great picture by Tom Gettelfinger of Memphis) I had a conversation with a fellow tango dancer a couple of days ago, outside of the milonga, and said to him it seems like ages since we danced and I was looking forward to seeing some of the new moves he'd been learning. He smiled and shrugged and said he'd tried to cabeceo a couple of time, but I was never looking - always chatting or dancing. Oh dear. It's true. In an effort to seem nonchalant about my desire to dance, sometimes I appear downright uninterested. When everyone else at my table is dancing or otherwise occupied, I do watch the milonga floor and make a little eye contact. Well, very little. Old habits die hard. I want to look interested, but not over-eager. And by over-eager, of course I mean desperate . I almost always dance as much as I want to dance, occasionally more than I *should* dance if my feet had a vote in this, but I still have that fear of looking needy. Also, part of the ...