My Tango Diaries

Thanks to Mardi Brown of Georgetown Tango , this morning was the first morning after a milonga I didn't feel like a 100 year old woman trying to hobble around the house. Her recommendation of Tacco metatarsal pads (added to cushioned foam insoles) was right on the money. I can't believe how much better my feet felt. I was really starting to wonder if capsulitis was going to win and I was going to have to either quit or severely limit my dancing. Anyone with pain in the ball of their feet should consider the Tacco line. You can get a few of their inserts, like the "drop-shaped" metatarsal pads at Austin Shoe Hospital , if you're in the area. You can also find them at FeetRelief.com . Also, please consult with your doctor if the pain in your feet is persistent, acute or if you get little to no relief from otc pain relievers. You can get more information about foot pain conditions at Foot-Pain-Explained.com as well, but this does not take the place of medical advice...

It happens. A rough night. A beautiful milonga danced badly. Saturday, my legs felt like anvils. I know I must have felt so heavy and unresponsive to my leaders. After the 3rd or 4th time scraping my heel across the top of my other foot, I knew it was time to call a spade, a spade. I could hardly pick up my feet, let alone dance. Even the two leaders I love dancing with most had trouble leading me. One of them told me so, and even though I knew it was true, it stung terribly. It seemed I wasn't following anything correctly. There were so many people I'd hoped to dance with that night. Now I was dreading making eye contact with anyone. My last dance was with B., a partner I didn't know well - we'd only danced once before. I told him I was still such a beginner and getting very worn out. He smiled slightly and said that's okay, we'll just walk. And we did. I was so soothed by gentle walking, the occasional small ochos and turns. I hadn't noticed the first time...

Sometimes I forget how little it takes. Or sometimes, that it takes nothing at all. It's 3am and the storm has passed. An hour ago, I was in bed with my eyes squeezed shut and my back bowed. The muscles from the top of my left shoulder to my hip cramped so hard that I could feel the spasms firing off like firecrackers under my skin. With the muscles pulled tight, breathing in deeply caused the pain to get worse. All of my non-drug pain relief measures require deep breathing to work. My jaw clenched so tight that I couldn't even call out for help. My husband was too far away to reach so I was on my own. Within minutes I was soaked in sweat, taking shallow breaths, and counting for distraction. I visualized each muscle (to the best of my ability), lengthening, relaxing, smoothing out. For 30 minutes that did precisely nothing . Surprisingly, I kept calm because there was nothing else I could do. Crying would hurt more. Moving would hurt more. So I stayed still. And waited. It...

Music choice came up on AmpsterTango's blog and it got me thinking about which pieces of music I use for what - and how that's changed over time. My first exposure to tango music was the Nuevo Tango of Piazzolla . It expressed things for me that at the time I had no outlet for. I didn't dance to it, though I saw others dance. It resonated with me. It reminded me of particular people and times. Then I heard tango music on a few soundtracks and compilations that combined Piazzolla's music with more traditional pieces - like the soundtrack for " The Tango Lesson ." It not only had beautiful Piazzolla music, but more traditional pieces by Carlos Gardel (Mi Buenos Aires Querido), Juan d'Arienzo (Flete), Osvaldo Pugliese (Zum). That soundtrack was played frequently at the store I worked in, and I loved it. It made me want to move - need to move. But I still didn't have the nerve to learn tango. Early this year, or maybe late last year, I came across Gotan...

Since I have been lacking a steady tango practice partner, I've been practicing crosses, ochos and the like on my own at the office, at home, in stairwells, at bus stops - wherever. I've actually been doing this steadily enough that I've developed preferences for certain appliances and pieces of furniture (much to the annoyance of Darling Husband and assorted pets.) The first experiment -ochos in the stairwell at work. While this is an excellent time filler at lunch, it always seems that no one enters the stairwell until I'm in there - and usually it's my director taking the stairs. Slightly awkward, but workable. The next was the refrigerator at home. About the right width, obviously a bit on the tall side, but still workable for monitoring my stability for stretching, turning etc. The cat did not approve as he got a slight shove when he came (quite stealthily) to investigate what I was doing. There was much petting and cuddling the cat afterwards to repair his dam...

Like anyone with a pain condition, I have a pretty sincere fear of injury. I can't help it. I just find myself being extra careful, eventually avoiding activities that might lead to getting hurt. Pain itself is less debilitating sometimes than the fear of pain. I'm dancing again, but I still have the fear of injury. The difference is now I'm afraid that I'll miss a dance class or won't be able to dance if I get hurt. Of course dancing makes everything feel better - while I'm doing it anyway. Dance first. Think later. It's the natural order. ~Samuel Beckett