My Tango Diaries

I'm turning my blog into a Dear Tango-Abby for just a moment. This kind of question has turned up on other blogs and forums, so I thought I'd address it more thoroughly here. The usual caveat applies - what follows is my opinion from my observations, and may or may not be relevant in other tango communities. YMMV. From my email . . . "There's a leader that I really like, but he's never asked me to dance. Is it okay to ask him why?" Short answer: No. Much longer answer: There might be an opportunity to approach him in a constructive way during practica or a class that you both attend, to simply ask if you might practice sometime on whatever it is you or he is working in class/practica. And then leave it to him. You said in another part of the email that you've tried the casual small talk at the snack table and cabeceo'ing him - so beyond that, depending on the preferences in your community, I would leave it at that. If, however, it's quite common

(As usual, what follows is only my opinion and should in no way be construed as expert advice on anything.) There's been some teacher bashing happening on a few of the tango forums lately. Not particular teachers (thankfully) but of the practice of teaching tango to begin with. - http://tangoconnections.ning.com/forum/topics/abrazo-apilado?x=1&id=2259628%3ATopic%3A38885&page=5#comments ; - http://www.dance-forums.com/showpost.php?p=756595&postcount=15 ; - http://pythia.uoregon.edu/~llynch/Tango-L/2006/msg12104.html From Chris_UK, on Tangoconnections ( http://tangoconnections.ning.com/ ): " . . . From this POV classes are a massive success. No matter that the 1-yr drop-out rate amongst their students is around 90%. Amongst instructors it's nearer 10%, because giving classes very much works for them. Further, a large proportion of students that do graduate do so not to the milonga but back to the classroom, as the next layer of instructors in the pyramid schem

At practica Sunday . . . I finally fully extended into my steps, relaxed my hips and kept my rib cage tall - all at the same time. Okay it lasted about a minute - but I got it. I got what it feels like. The difference is . . . well, I wish I could describe it. I just know that I get the "why" of it now. None of the explanations of how it felt or why it was important fully conveyed to me the difference it would make. The description of "how" from Mardi and Stephen (of Georgetown Tango ) got me the closest to understanding it. Like standing at the kitchen sink, reaching up to change a light bulb above the basin. It feels like that. Except different with a person in front of you. Without my glasses, I could only make out my profile in the mirror, but that was enough. Ooooh, that's what it looks like . . . What felt to me like a deep lean, looked far more natural and fluid in the mirror. It didn't look a thing like me. Well, the me in my head, anyway. I w

Full disclosure: I can't name the orchestra when a tango comes on. I can, however, hear the differences between versions of a song - particularly one that I like a great deal. If I had a better music vocabulary, I think I might have an easier time remembering the names because I could attribute certain characteristics between version and orchestras. As it is, I have my own little internal dialogue that goes something like, "oh this is the version that's slower in the beginning then speeds up." Or, "this is the one that stays slow and melodic, but ends really abruptly." While I was trying to explain the importance of listening to several versions of songs to get an idea of the range of the music, I thought of an example that seemed to almost make my point for me. So to the tanguero who asked, this is why I think the orchestra is important. . . Here is Eric Clapton (Cream) song Layla (1983) with Clapton, Jeff Beck, and Jimmy Page: And, here is Clapton and Mark

In response to an email I received about being too sanguine at the milonga, and not doing enough to ensure others (followers) got to dance . . . I did say we should look out for one another and encourage each other, you're right. We should. But that will only go so far - the rest is up to each individual dancer. To get dances at the milonga, you have to look like you want to dance. 1. Sit as close to the dance floor as you are able. Remember Jantango's Front Row Advantage . "But my friends are sitting in the back." Then you might have to make a choice - chat or dance. This isn't Buenos Aires so you don't have to sit in one spot all night long - you can move around, chat a bit, then take a seat in the row of chairs along the floor for awhile. 2. Appear ready to dance. Your posture counts, even when you're sitting and not dancing. Feel tall, even in your chair. (I'm guilty of constantly slouching, so this is my own personal pet-peeve.) Uncross your arms

Some fellow tanguera-bloggers and I have been having a wonderful online "conversation" via blogs, Twitter, Facebook and email - about the importance of sisterhood and solidarity. You can find Stephanie's post, here and her follow up here , and then Tangocorazon's here . I was so bouyed by the idea of women bonding, helping and supporting each other that I took some things for granted. I took for granted that it would always be easy, enlightened as I am /*cough*/ to be the sort of consistently nurturing and helpful tanguera that I am (in my head) . The truth? Where the rubber met the road (or rather when the discomfort hit the milonga), I wasn't. Here's a little background that gave me a better perspective on the events at the New Year's Eve milonga. These guidelines appear under the heading " Behavior at the Milonga " on Vancouver Island Tango: " . . . The smaller the tango population, the more 'effort' required from each one of th

I needed some cheering up . . . "At the age of 11 months standing and cruising around the room by holding onto furniture keeps your little one very busy. (Crusing around the room yes, but I draw the line at holding on to furniture.) Baby may even take a few steps on her own. Some babies like standing so much they refuse to sit down! This will wear off eventually. (About the time feet start hurting . . .) Some of the major milestones for the 11-month-old include the following: - Standing by herself for a moment or two, and maybe walking if her hand is held. (Yes, please hold my hand, I still get lost trying to find my table. You should walk me there anyway since that's probably where you put down your eye glasses.) - Waving and turning around without falling. (We'll see about that.) - Using one word to mean a whole thought, and using the word "no," even when meaning yes. ("No, really, I'm done dancing. See my shoes are off and everything! Okay, just one m

So now I add my own post to the dozens popping up all over the tango blogosphere - milonguero Pedro "Tete" Rusconi, has died. Of particular note are Alex's at Alex.tango.fuego and Deby's at TangoSpam: La Vida Con Deby . I read the "news" first on Facebook - a post from a couple different tango dancers. I was shocked since I had only just read of him dancing at a milonga a few nights ago. I searched other social networks, Google, a few news sites - nothing. How, I asked myself, could such a man die and there be no news online about it? Maybe it's just a rumour. I asked around - no one had a link to news site. Maybe it's a terrible hoax. Still - no news even of the rumour. Nothing. And then I really thought about it. Outside of tango, who knows this man's name? I had seen video footage of him dancing before I started dancing tango - but I wouldn't have known his name. In a short 11 months, I had gone from barely recognizing different teacher

This is far more information and analysis than anyone wants, but it's been on my mind a long time. So maybe it's time... This post is in response to a forum discussion going on at Tango Connections about the criticism at the milonga, and tango codigos . If you go to the Tango-L listserv (mailing list/forum) archives, you'll find that from the very near the beginning (of the archive list anyway) tango dancers have been arguing about the codigos, about milonga manners and floor craft etc. The archive only goes back to 1994, but the first specific post I found was November 1995 - http://pythia.uoregon.edu/~llynch/Tango-L/1995/msg00050.html . That's just one place - there are sites archived elsewhere with the same debates and they go back years. The Social Human So why do we constantly, heatedly, unrelentingly argue about the milonga codes? Because we are engaging in a shared, emotional experience . Defining terms and setting rules makes it feel safe to do that. Wh

Tonight I needed to dance too much. My days at work leave me pining for connection and music and warmth. Going to the evening milonga on Tuesdays is like finally getting to come up for air. The problem is that I've been holding my breath all day. Or the equivalent of that. I hear the music, hug my friends, change into my shoes and feel such a huge sense of relief. But the problem remains - I've been a coiled spring all day. My muscles ache, my head hurts. My knees feel weak. These things don't make for great following ability. Tonight it felt like a bit more than that, though. I felt haunted. There's something on my mind, I just haven't sorted it out yet. Annie Lennox sang it just right. I'm haunted by the ghosts in my machine. I feel melancholy and restless - can you feel both of those at the same time? I thought somehow those would be mutually exclusive.I guess not. (I don't know if any of you dear readers will know what I mean by this but the feeling is

For last year's words belong to last year's language And next year's words await another voice. And to make an end is to make a beginning. T.S. Eliot, "Little Gidding"

Normally I don't go for workshops that have steps in the title - classes like "The Twelve Ganchos of Christmas" or "Fifty Ways to Lead Your Rulo" tend to leave me cold. However, when instructors have a reputation of teaching steps and combinations that work well on a crowded milonga floor - I'm far more willing to give the class a shot. Georgetown Tango's Special Topics Workshop last month featured Milonguero Dip * & Back Volcadas for the social dance floor. Here are a couple of examples of the Milonguero Dip: Ney Melo and Jennifer Bratt The Milonguero Dip (at 0:55, 0:59 and 1:03): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h6YMpeJGg6U and at 0:38 here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vtQvYQLCbZc Like some of the best stuff in tango, how the Milonguero Dip looks on the outside is nothing compared to how great it feels in the embrace. As the man collects his knees and twists he creates the slight drop which gives a "swoosh" (dip) feel to the resulti

I admire women who can lead. And I am in absolute awe of women who really own the lead . They're not just going through the sequence, performing all of the right moves in the right places in the music. They're not leading the way they imagine they should lead. They're leading - from the heart, from the music, and from the core of their bodies. There is joy in their lead. Love for the music and for the dance. I know two such leaders who have such emotion and connectedness in their lead that I can fully and completely relax into the dance. I can feel the music through them. One of the leaders is playful, bright, and almost effervescent in her lead. I smile all the way through the tanda when we dance. The other leader is more serious, more intense - at first almost intimidating. But once the music starts - there is only the music and the feeling of total embrace. They lead like they mean it. So when I was faced with having to lead due to lack of men in the intermediate tango

The first milonga of 2010. A new decade. So many wonderful tandas. A more relaxed milonga than NYE. Dancing with J. and F. in particular, always makes me feel so grateful to have stayed in tango. My first challenging/constantly apologizing/anxious dances with them all those months ago - I thought surely neither of them would ever ask me to dance again. On making resolutions . . . I'm not making resolutions this year. That is, I'm not making specifically New Year's resolutions. I am always working on things - always setting goals for myself. There are things I would like get through/get over/get done - as always, but they are ongoing. Sometimes I'm disappointed that I can be in such completely new territory and still have so many old, bad habits. That's the rub I guess - we always take ourselves with us, no matter how far we go. For example, I would like to be consistent about not apologizing for the things I don't know, or don't do well. It's better - an

Thanks to Mardi Brown of Georgetown Tango , this morning was the first morning after a milonga I didn't feel like a 100 year old woman trying to hobble around the house. Her recommendation of Tacco metatarsal pads (added to cushioned foam insoles) was right on the money. I can't believe how much better my feet felt. I was really starting to wonder if capsulitis was going to win and I was going to have to either quit or severely limit my dancing. Anyone with pain in the ball of their feet should consider the Tacco line. You can get a few of their inserts, like the "drop-shaped" metatarsal pads at Austin Shoe Hospital , if you're in the area. You can also find them at FeetRelief.com . Also, please consult with your doctor if the pain in your feet is persistent, acute or if you get little to no relief from otc pain relievers. You can get more information about foot pain conditions at Foot-Pain-Explained.com as well, but this does not take the place of medical advice

La Vita Nuova "Music was my refuge. I could crawl into the space between the notes and curl my back to loneliness." ~Maya Angelou, Gather Together in My Name I took one last look around at the dancing/partying/hugging frenzy on the pista before leaving the New Year's Eve milonga last night. Is this my life? I could never have guessed a year ago that I would find myself here - surrounded by new friends, a new family , really. So many perfect coincidences . . . - I arrived that night with P., the first tanguero who ever asked me to dance, and his wife, who finds herself coping, like my husband, married to a tango fanatic. The four of us had lunch earlier and I couldn't help thinking how lucky DH and I are to have their friendship. - I danced with a visiting tanguero, for the second time, that I had met online through my blog writing. How amazing to embrace someone from so far away whose only connection is this lush tango life. - and such a relief to see and at least be