My Tango Diaries

This has been coming up more and more as dancers (online and off) have been discussing the merits (and pitfalls) of using the cabeceo at milongas. Here's one example of what often happens... As soon as the cortina starts, especially if the milonga is very busy, leaders scramble to find their first choice next partners in scattering dancers. Because people are seated somewhat haphazardly and there's no single point of exit from the pista - visibility is tricky, even if the lights are brighter (which is rare). So gentlemen have little choice but to walk up to the table where their intended follower is sitting and simply ask her. Knowing that the milonga is usually set up poorly for the cabeceo, the follower accepts invitations that way, rather than appearing rude and declining an invitation, and "punishing" the leader for asking in the only way he had the opportunity to. So we usually accept the invitation. There are times when it would be even more prudent to turn dow...

Silence is Golden Part 1: Just a warning. If you bring up business/work/politics I will try to listen, but I will likely forget everything you've said by the time we stop dancing. So if you need a response to something, an answer, or a commitment of some kind - email me. Any business matters at hand dissolve in my brain as soon as the music starts. You've been warned. Email me. Part 2: Twice this weekend I was informed that the conversation my partner was having with me on the pista was loud enough to be heard by other dancers. And that's annoying. They're right, it is. I hate listening to the couple behind me prattle on and on when I'm trying to listen to the music - so I know how annoying it is. This weekend there were a couple of times when several dancers were talking so loudly that no one could hear the music. I'm sure before I realized that, I had been contributing to that din. My critics were correct that it is disrespectful to the music and to the other ...

This is far more information and analysis than anyone wants, but it's been on my mind a long time. So maybe it's time... This post is in response to a forum discussion going on at Tango Connections about the criticism at the milonga, and tango codigos . If you go to the Tango-L listserv (mailing list/forum) archives, you'll find that from the very near the beginning (of the archive list anyway) tango dancers have been arguing about the codigos, about milonga manners and floor craft etc. The archive only goes back to 1994, but the first specific post I found was November 1995 - http://pythia.uoregon.edu/~llynch/Tango-L/1995/msg00050.html . That's just one place - there are sites archived elsewhere with the same debates and they go back years. The Social Human So why do we constantly, heatedly, unrelentingly argue about the milonga codes? Because we are engaging in a shared, emotional experience . Defining terms and setting rules makes it feel safe to do that. Wh...

Just when you thought I couldn't pick a more embarrassing, personal topic than bras - I go and bring up hygiene and beauty habits. Let's face it - it's bound to come up. We're packed in like sardines, embracing one another - it's hot, there are empanadas to be had. These things happen. Some of this post comes from my dozen (or so *cough*) years in the beauty industry schlepping perfume - and some of it comes from embarrassing experiences of my own. Since this is a fairly big topic (that seems to be coming up a lot in coversation lately), I'm going to break this up into a few posts. Part I: Fragrances (as opposed to odors) Part II: Odors, or why you should never turn down a mint. Part III: Tricks, tips and handy little helpers. Part I - Perfume and Cologne Here are the basic rules about fragrances: Fragrance Fatigue: If you've been wearing the same fragrance regularly for awhile - you can no longer accurately gauge how strong it smells on you. I promise I...

(rant) At the milonga . . . The two dancers on the milonga floor are gorgeous. They're glamorous, musical, lightening-fast and precise in the execution of their steps. Dramatic, intense - everything that audiences love to see in tango dancers (on TV). They're also taking up three to four times more space on the dance floor as any other couple there. Dancers are giving them a wide berth because no one has any idea what they're going to do next. I sit at my table and watch the show - because that's what it certainly seems like to me - a show. I'm dismayed that this couple seems so completely absorbed in their dance, that they haven't noticed the look of panic on the dancers around them. And then I hear the remarks. Aren't they beautiful? God, they're such amazing dancers! Stunning - I wish I could dance like that. I have just got to learn how to do (whatever move they just did). We're so lucky to be able to watch them. I wish that he/she would dance wi...

Now the question circulating Tango-L is this: If traditional tango dancers and nuevo tango dancers can't get along on the milonga floor - should they hold separate milongas? In some communities this is already done. In my community it's a bit different with every milonga. As far as the music goes most of the milongas play some alternative/neotango/nuevo tango tandas toward the end of the night. Some of the more traditional dancers (not very many) prefer to sit those out. The rest of dancers either a.) dance their regular tango steps to the alternative music, or b.) dance nuevo style steps or just dance a little bigger/more open than they would to traditional music. If someone wants to dance "bigger" steps or more in the nuevo style during the traditional music, they usually move toward the middle of the floor where there's more space. That's not always the case, but most of the time it is - and it's certainly encouraged, to keep the line of dance moving...

This is another one of the ranty sort of posts that I've been debating about releasing from it's "Drafts" status. I may regret this, but I think it needs to be addressed. Milonga Manners My first milonga at Esquina Tango included the mini-beginner tango class (as it quite frequently does) and part of that class included instruction on using the cabeceo and other points of tango etiquette. This information was reinforced frequently by other tango dancers and teachers in the community. Even though I've been guilty of some missteps in navigating milonga protocol (see previous post on the folower's responsibilities regarding the cabeceo), I do try very hard to respect the codigos. Most of the "rules" of the milonga are there to keep everyone feeling comfortable and, in the case of the cabeceo, to save face. Because most of the dancers I encounter honor the codigos, I'd started taking for granted that everyone knew about them - that is was part of our...