My Tango Diaries

A recent thread, called "Men's Strategies [for dancing in Buenos Aires]" on Tango-L got me thinking about the codigos again. Austin isn't Buenos Aires, and my expectations are, for the most part, adjusted accordingly. I'm not making a character judgment based on whether a dancer follows the codigos. (I know that might seem hard to believe after reading some of my posts, but it's true.) And I'm not offended or hurt or angry when a gentleman doesn't walk me off the pista after a tanda. But here's something to keep in mind from a dancer on Tango-L, regarding this particular aspect of the milonga codes: "Sometimes the friendships are so familiar and casual that the man does not escort [the follower] back to her chair.. However, I find that if the man really appreciates and enjoys the tanda he had with me, his final and most all-encompassing thank you and sign of respect and appreciation is to escort me all the way back to my seat, not just to th...

I know I should post my complete notes on Murat and Michelle's class before diving into something specific (and ranty), but this can't wait. M&M spent a great deal of time and effort, not just talking about etiquette on floorcraft, but demonstrating it. The two concepts I was most happy to hear about were the "male cabeceo" and leaders forming "trains" on the pista. For people who have traveled to Denver and some of the larger tango festivals, this wasn't new information, but it's something that isn't taught very often in our local classes. The male cabeceo - making eye contact (essentially getting approval) from the leader that will be behind you as you enter the dance floor with your partner. More on that from Miles Tangos ( Barefootango.com ): "Leaders when entering the line of dance, make eye contact with the on coming traffic of leaders and acknowledge that you’d like to enter the line of dance and ONLY enter when you have consente...

This has been coming up more and more as dancers (online and off) have been discussing the merits (and pitfalls) of using the cabeceo at milongas. Here's one example of what often happens... As soon as the cortina starts, especially if the milonga is very busy, leaders scramble to find their first choice next partners in scattering dancers. Because people are seated somewhat haphazardly and there's no single point of exit from the pista - visibility is tricky, even if the lights are brighter (which is rare). So gentlemen have little choice but to walk up to the table where their intended follower is sitting and simply ask her. Knowing that the milonga is usually set up poorly for the cabeceo, the follower accepts invitations that way, rather than appearing rude and declining an invitation, and "punishing" the leader for asking in the only way he had the opportunity to. So we usually accept the invitation. There are times when it would be even more prudent to turn dow...

A rare stellar alignment resulted in far more men at the last milonga than women. While I enjoyed dancing nearly every tanda (though my feet are now less than impressed by that fact), it brought other things to light that I would have preferred not have had to deal with. When there are far more men than women, it can feel particularly obvious (I'm not sure that's the word I mean, but I can't think of a better one) when certain men don't want to dance with you. When there are 5 or 6 men that appear to rather sit out than ask the one woman left sitting (me, in this case) to dance, it stings. I know appearances can be deceiving - and I have been known to be airheaded and miss cabeceos from leaders. But when it's the entire evening - and the same leaders, it's hard not to take it personally. Still, I've learned to try to make peace with that and not make too many assumptions about it. However, the situation was made far worse that night when another dancer sug...

(rant) At the milonga . . . The two dancers on the milonga floor are gorgeous. They're glamorous, musical, lightening-fast and precise in the execution of their steps. Dramatic, intense - everything that audiences love to see in tango dancers (on TV). They're also taking up three to four times more space on the dance floor as any other couple there. Dancers are giving them a wide berth because no one has any idea what they're going to do next. I sit at my table and watch the show - because that's what it certainly seems like to me - a show. I'm dismayed that this couple seems so completely absorbed in their dance, that they haven't noticed the look of panic on the dancers around them. And then I hear the remarks. Aren't they beautiful? God, they're such amazing dancers! Stunning - I wish I could dance like that. I have just got to learn how to do (whatever move they just did). We're so lucky to be able to watch them. I wish that he/she would dance wi...

Just after I get done telling myself, and my readers, that I'm going to start turning down leaders that make me uncomfortable in some way, I go back on the advice... sort of. Two leaders were at the milonga last night that I had had trouble with the last time I had danced with them (in both cases, the only time I had danced with them.) So when I saw them, I was fully prepared to avoid the cabaceo if possible, to turn them down directly if necessary. And I really would have too, if I hadn't just had this experience. Second chances - Part 1 I wrote about another leader recently who embarrassed me on the milonga floor by instructing in a very obvious manner in front of a table of dancers I knew somewhat well (well enough to care about their opinion) from my community. After trying unsuccessfully to dissuade him from doing this, I finished the tanda in silence. At the next milonga I saw his teacher on the dance floor stop in the line of dance, forcing the rest of the dancers to mov...