Dancing with my instructor,
"bend your knees
lower . . .
lean on me,
lean, lean, lean
. . .even more.
I have you."
A perfect "A" frame.
The embrace soothes my always wary,
and untrusting lizard brain.
I wrote this shortly after my apilado class. My teacher was a woman.
This topic came up in the comments on another post about women leaders. There are many fantastic female tango instructors who lead very well. There seem to be fewer that are able to create a feeling of connection, safety and comfort, however. (I say that knowing only too well that I am an absolutely terrible leader. I would dread following me. )
That said I never imagined what it would feel like to dance with a woman who was so comfortable in her skin, so grounded. It's rare enough for any of us to achieve that state I think. Relaxed into every inch of our bodies. How can you not be comfortable dancing with someone in that state? Male of female? Leader or follower?
I have no intention of learning to lead at this time. But I have a criteria for the time I do consider it. I will learn to lead when I'm comfortable enough in my own body, in my own dance, that I can focus on the experience of my partner. When I can internalize Ampster's very excellent advice - it's all about her (or him if I'm leading a man.)
Right now I can hardly extend my leg correctly, so it may be awhile.