Old habits . . .


I had a weekend of beautiful dances. Friday night, though, I almost sabotaged the entire experience.

Overworked, over-stressed, and under-rested, I arrived at Uptown in a state of apology which I always think I'm done with - except apparently when I'm very, very tired. I thought maybe I shouldn't have even come to the milonga. I was caught between being afraid I was going to dance very badly, and needing to dance so very much. I hadn't even changed into my tango shoes yet, but I felt I needed to warn everyone I danced with that I was tired from a long week and afraid I wasn't going to dance well. Like putting on a verbal sign that read: "Keep your expectations low". After almost an hour and a half of that nonsense, I finally realized what I was doing and stopped. The only person complaining about my dancing was me. It turned out to be a gorgeous milonga (and just the beginning a wonderful weekend of dancing). I'm so glad I didn't miss it by listening to the "Voice of Doom" .

When will I learn?
(photo, Spanish Fan, courtesy of morguefile.com)

7 comments:

AlexTangoFuego said...

"Think, and so shall ye be."

I try to remind myself of this quote (and a few others) to temper my inner dialog to the positive. It's hard though...

Daniel Rosenstark said...

Point is not to think about whether you're dancing well or not. Your job is to concentrate and dance AS WELL AS POSSIBLE (which sometimes is not too well, or sometimes really well but no one notices), make the follower feel comfortable, and be open to any opportunities to be creative/sensitive should you be awake enough to notice them. The power of positive thought helps, but really your job is just to lead (or follow).

[I'm thinking about whether this comment will be annoying, but if it is, just delete it please]

Mari Johnson said...

@Alex and @Daniel - excellent advice - thank you both for commenting. It's one thing to know something intellectually, it's another to make yourself do it when the chips are down, so to speak. Hopefully with practice (and occasional reminding) I'll get better at it.

Mark said...

How well I know this feeling. And so glad to hear you caught yourself and turned it around.

Constant reminders are what we need.

Anonymous said...

Here is something I say to myself every time I get to dance, I leave all my worldly, and trivial problems at the door, there they can rest and resolve themselves for in the light of all entirety is it really worth it? So I go in dance like its the last time in my life I have the chance to and just be one with the music, the person I am dancing with and myself. Best Keno

The Accidental Tangoiste said...

Good for you for turning yourself around and enjoying such a lovely evening, Mari!

Johanna said...

The point of it all is to have fun. Fun isn't "good" or "bad". It just is.