A recent thread, called "Men's Strategies [for dancing in Buenos Aires]" on Tango-L got me thinking about the codigos again. Austin isn't Buenos Aires, and my expectations are, for the most part, adjusted accordingly. I'm not making a character judgment based on whether a dancer follows the codigos. (I know that might seem hard to believe after reading some of my posts, but it's true.) And I'm not offended or hurt or angry when a gentleman doesn't walk me off the pista after a tanda.
But here's something to keep in mind from a dancer on Tango-L, regarding this particular aspect of the milonga codes:
"Sometimes the friendships are so familiar and casual that the man does not escort [the follower] back to her chair.. However, I find that if the man really appreciates and enjoys the tanda he had with me, his final and most all-encompassing thank you and sign of respect and appreciation is to escort me all the way back to my seat, not just to the aisle. Typically, they hold your hand the whole way back to the seat or leave their arm around your waist, it is a very flattering way to let you know that you are a Diosa (goddess). Even what appears to be some very rustic men, maybe from the Provincias, extend this incredible courtesy, as though the woman has just performed her heart out for him and has to be assisted back to her seat to recover...very nice... how often do we see this in communities outside of BsAs....not so much...."
Some gentlemen leave me in the middle of the pista after a tanda, which doesn't particularly make me feel one way or another about him (unless it's very, very abrupt.) Like I said, it's not that I think it's rude - it's just not, well, . . . anything. Then there are a few men who walk me back to my seat (our milongas don't really have more than one row of seating), holding my hand and making me feel like I'm valued and cared for. Followers remember that kind of thing.
So really, I'm just asking . . . Which tanguero would you rather be?