I'm turning my blog into a Dear Tango-Abby for just a moment. This kind of question has turned up on other blogs and forums, so I thought I'd address it more thoroughly here. The usual caveat applies - what follows is my opinion from my observations, and may or may not be relevant in other tango communities. YMMV. From my email . . . "There's a leader that I really like, but he's never asked me to dance. Is it okay to ask him why?" Short answer: No. Much longer answer: There might be an opportunity to approach him in a constructive way during practica or a class that you both attend, to simply ask if you might practice sometime on whatever it is you or he is working in class/practica. And then leave it to him. You said in another part of the email that you've tried the casual small talk at the snack table and cabeceo'ing him - so beyond that, depending on the preferences in your community, I would leave it at that. If, however, it's quite common
"El infinito tango me lleva hacia todo" - Borges