Festival Lesson - Ask for What You Need

(Picture courtesy of Morguefile.com)

The Fandango de Tango festival is over and I'm back at work, trying to remember what it is I do in the daylight hours. I must be dreaming music at night because when I wake up, the silence around me is heavy and sudden - like someone switching off a radio.

I think I danced  more at this festival than any previous one I've attended. Five milongas (no classes) - and then I danced again at our local Monday night milonga at Cafe Medici. I wish I could go tonight. I'm pushing off the inevitable tango hangover, but it's coming. I can feel it.

The biggest lesson I learned this weekend - nothing beats just asking for what you need.  I think I need to tattoo that on my hand so I don't forget.

I danced far more than I thought I would be able to, but it wasn't easy. By the third night it was clear to me, and probably to many of my partners, I wasn't going to be able to keep up the pace.  Saturday night, at least I think it was Saturday? Maybe it was Friday.  I can't remember for sure now.  A friend asked me to dance for a milonga tanda and I almost declined, worried I wouldn't be able to keep up. Instead of declining, I just let him know I was hurting. So even though it was a milonga playing, I needed to dance soft. If that was okay with him, I was ready to dance. He accepted the challenge and much to my delight, he danced me soft. It was gorgeous. It was such a relief to dance a milonga without the fear that I wouldn't be able to keep up, or be afraid that I would hurt afterward, and instead be able to focus on all of the things we could do in the music.

To give an idea of the tanda felt, all I can say is that it reminded my of this video (and the one below it came courtesy of Terpsichoral Tango.)

And this:

Tandas over the next couple of days were, thankfully, much the same. I let my partners know what was going on and told them I would completely understand if they wanted to skip it. They danced with me anyway, and I had some truly beautiful, restorative dances. I was completely spoiled by embraces that melted away my aches and my worries.  Every time it happens I'm still so amazed by how curative this music, and this dance, can be - how it can untangle the knots and ease the pain, both emotional and physical.

Thank you to the leaders who were so careful with me, and took extra time, this weekend. I am more grateful to you than I can possibly express.

1 comment:

Today in Tango said...

Hi guys...thanks for listing Today In Tango in your web site

Can you help us find a volonteer researcher and writer for Today In Tango...probably best a retired person with writing skills

we can offer a place to stay in Rome and tango lessons (as well as the best food in the world)