Leaning into the Sharp Points

First, thank you readers and friends for such swift feedback on my previous posts! Your emails mean the world to me! Some of you already know what lit a fire under me to get this latest RedBubble project going, but for those who don't, please read on . . .

So let's back up . . .

The last 7 months have been devastating financially. My husband was very ill and in the hospital for a week. Our furnace/air conditioning units failed and cost twice what we were quoted 2 years ago. The ceiling of our garage caved in (and because it wasn't storm related, but poor workmanship, insurance wouldn't pay anything.) We've had to gut our house so that nearly everything in it can be bleached or boiled, to help protect my husband from future infections.

That's the just the big (and human-related) stuff. If this were a TV show, it would be some kind of dark comedy. The crazy thing is, the hospital bills that usually bury us, got paid by the insurance company. Miracle of miracles. But it's been literally everything else that has piled up. All the home care, all the broken appliances. I still have a leaky sink, a broken bathroom fan and and various other small things that will have to wait until I can figure out how to fix them myself.

Aside from the human challenges, both of our Shibas have had their own problems. Kuma lost an eye to glaucoma. His surgery was two weeks ago. Now he looks very much like one of those over-loved teddy bears that's missing his button eye. Just as he was healing (last week), Vixen got sick from something we've yet to identify. She's currently in a veterinary hospital while they try to figure out why she can't eat. They're tube feeding her to build up her strength. Tonight will be her third night away from us.

Any two or maybe even three of these things together, we could have weathered, at least eventually. All of this together is more than we can cope with.

It's time, as Pema Chödrön wrote, to lean in to the sharp points. It's time to turn toward the storm and get busy.

That's how I settled on finally getting this RedBubble print-on-demand shop off the ground. I had the artwork - I just had to clean it all up for upload and printing. I'd forgotten how much I enjoyed the design work and that's actually been helping me cope with the stress. But the biggest thing I need is a second income - from home, so I can work around all the cleaning, the dog care, the infection control protocols . . .   the everything our lives are right now.

We planned for these things - we just didn't plan for them to happen all at the same time - or with such severity. So all of this is just to say thank you to those of you reading who've already reached out, and a request to share my store with anyone you think might be interested.

One last thing.

I wrote and deleted this line 3 times. This is my fourth try to get it down without berating myself and deleting it again:

If you would like to donate to Vixen and Kuma's bills, you can donate through PAYPAL at my email address: INFINITETANGO(at)GMAIL.COM. (Using "at" instead of "@" to slow down the bots from grabbing my email address.) 

It is just under $1,000 a night for all that they are doing for her while they try to figure out what happened to her. Even if she had a miraculous turnaround tomorrow, she would probably need one more night there.

Vixen on the left before she went to the vet hospital, and Kuma trying to get some rays while in his "cone of shame."

Thank you again for reading this far, for sharing this post, for sharing my store, if you feel the desire to, and for the well-wishes you've sent thus far. It is so very much appreciated.

Abrazos and warm, happy dances to you all.


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