My Tango Diaries

Comments and emails about my last post, Breaking the Embrace, got me thinking about the 'embrace negotiation' that happens as a couple begins to dance. I have had different teachers tell me different things - "the woman must always adapt to the man's style and embrace" "The man should accept the embrace the woman offers." Most of the leaders locally wait for me to choose the distance - I don't know if that's what they were taught or if it's just practical. I have had a few leaders scoop me up into close embrace almost before the music starts, which is a bit startling - but since I tend to prefer that embrace, I tend to settle in eventually. When a leader actively chooses open embrace and maintains that space, I try to maintain it from my side as well - though it's hard for me. As I dance more and more in close embrace, I get out of the habit. One leader, visiting from out of town, said Argentine teachers especially emphasize that the wo...

"I remember one night at the Club Gricel, shortly before his death. Mariana, his dancing partner, leaned against him, held up by nothing more than Gavito's forehead and the tips of her own toes. It was an act of absolute surrender. The slightest error would have brought them both tumbling to the floor. That photograph has become, for me, the absolute definition of eros: I surrender to you with absolute certainty; you are my balance." --Photographer, Pablo Corral Vega

Intellectually, I can get my mind around the usefulness of a fluid or dynamic embrace. It allows for more options in certain places - the opportunity to lead something a little bigger, or a little more complex. It can serve as a dramatic pause. I do sort of get it. Or at least I try to. It isn't my preference. . There are a few dancers who open the embrace as part of their dance, for the effect of it. I'm not talking about opening the embrace because the step that the music demands is too hard to do in close embrace - sometimes that's just how it goes. I'm specifically talking about opening the embrace as the end in itself. Mostly for a dramatic pause. When I know that the leader I'm dancing with is prone to opening the embrace, I never really settle in. I'm always waiting for the warmth and comfort to be altered, or be taken away altogether. I danced with a partner the other day who is doing this more and more. In a certain place in the music, he stops briefl...

I'm dragging today. Another Tuesday night milonga means a late night before and early morning work day. I go through this every week. And I don't plan to change a thing. It's worth it. It's worth every yawn, worth every "could you repeat what you just said? My brain wandered off." It's worth every, "you look kinda tired today." "I was up dancing tango." (I try to stifle the glee I feel every time I tell someone at work that.) So many great things about last night's milonga. A tanguero finding *his* tango. Dancing the heck out of a milonga - I mean *flying* the milonga. Lovely. New people. Old friends. Tanguera bonding. Putting down roots in this amazing community of warm, kind, big-hearted tango dancers. What could be more welcome than a solid, weekly milonga venue with good friends, good food and live music from Glover? I can't think of thing. No se pierdan ni un compás de este tango que va cautivando rebelde y dulzón. Entre vu...

I made it through almost two of Daniela Arcuri's classes before my ankle gave out. It wasn't too bad - sore and weak - but if I continued dancing on it, especially through milonga class, I'd be unable to dance later. So I gave up 2/3 of the way through molinete class. The molinete class *alone* was worth the price of all three workshops! Daniela taught everyone (leaders and followers) how to lead molinetes three ways, as well as how to follow them. She emphasized recognizing where and when the lead is felt and how to position feet to lead it more smoothly. While this made me appreciate more how much is involved in leading the step, it also made me very grateful to be a follower. I thought my brain was going to melt from too much information. Daniela's first class of the day, a yoga inspired tango exercise class (which I had already taken twice!), still makes me feel like totally inept Daniel Larusso at the beginning of Karate Kid. I caught myself wondering if I was g...

I just passed the 8th month mark of my tango life. If I were an 8 month old baby, this is how my world would look: Some of the major milestones for the 8 month old include: * Crawling backward and forward . (Well it certainly can feel like crawling. Trying to walk while remembering to tighten my core, relax my hips, stay in line with my feet, lower my shoulders and breathe . . and of course, relax.) * Babbling and recognizing some words . (My painful attempts at castellano.) * Loving to imitate people they know. (helloooooo YouTube!) * Being very curious, and exploring everything. (Classes, workshops, books, practicas. If only I could give up sleeping and eating, I would have more time for tango! Also, see above: YouTube.) * Being frightened by new experiences, new people, and being upset when left behind. (oh yes....tango anxiety. The internal dialogue of: why can't I remember to collect! Why didn't so-and-so ask me to dance? What if no one asks me to dance? What if someone ...

( Disclaimer for the record, again - I am not a teacher - only dancer, and still a pretty new one at that. These are simply my opinions and not meant to be taken as the gospel truth about anything. What follows gets a bit ranty and occasionally preachy. Please feel free to rant/preach/bitch generally, back to me in the comments. I'm a glutton for punishment - so fire when ready.) I've emphasized how much milongas are the core of my tango addiction. They are the safe haven of my hectic world - the place I go to see my friends, enjoy the music, and dance until I practically fall down. Milongas are a sanctuary. Milongas feel safe, and comfortable, and welcoming. They feel this way because milongas are not practicas . They aren't classes. They aren't workshops. The beautiful feeling of a milonga can be shattered by dancers consistently experimenting with new moves they haven't learned well on unsuspecting, and unwilling partners. (Let me stress that I learn a ton at m...